10 Easy Ways to Know You Don't Belong in the School Drop Off Line
It is that time of year again, and I'm here to give you the top 10 Easy Ways to Know You Don't Belong in the School Pickup or Dropoff line!
My unofficial, unsolicited, and brutally honest breakdown of the pickup/drop off system.
This post brought to you by literal YEARS of mentally cursing people out, and complete and utter astonishment at the level of self-centeredness and selfishness that goes into some of these behaviors. I've had kids in school for only 7 years now, but we've been at 4 different elementary schools in two different states, and the ONE thing that they all have in common?
There are a handful of selfish jerks parents at every single school that wreck the pick up and drop off experience for everyone.
You guys - it isn't a hard concept.
Just be aware and courteous of those that are around you, and especially behind you.
The line can be a smooth, fast, amazing lesson in efficiency. We have amazing teachers and our school's principal even comes out daily to help load and unload kids into vehicles. They are all great. And patient. They know ALL of our cars.
They tell the kids which spot to go to so that they're all waiting when the 4 or 5 cars pull up to the curb so they can just hop in. Then all 4-5 cars can just all pull away. In unison. Making the line purr like a super friendly kitten. In theory anyway.
But no.
You show up. Screwing up the entire system. I've seen it in beat up El Caminos and I've seen it in tricked out Escalades. The kind or class of car does not predict the level of helicoptery housed inside that vehicle.
- You don't pull up all the way, causing the curb to only fit 2-3 cars.
- You wait in the 4th spot for your 3rd kid to get there LONG after everyone else has left, and refuse for some reason unknown to pull up into the 1st position. Why? Will the teachers forget? Are you afraid your kid will come out and see your car moving and panic because you are leaving them? Do you know what the solution to that is? Lock the doors and pull away more slowly while laughing hysterically because DUH. You'd never leave your kid, and soon they'll know it.
- You get out and help with jackets or book bags or shoe tying.
- You sit and wait. And wait. And WAIT for that little person you created to get all the way inside the doors. When you pick up you wait until the seatbelts are FULLY BUCKLED before starting to pull away. Just no. Do some buckle/unbuckle drills, man. For the love of sanity. Kids above kindergarten should be able to buckle or unbuckle their seatbelt in less than 10 seconds.
- You sit and talk. And wave. And smile, and talk some more. Save the after school chit-chat for after you GET OUT OF MY WAY SO I CAN GET OUT OF THIS LINE THAT TORTURES MY LIFE.
Why you patently refuse to use one of those amazing parking spaces the school so kindly provides so you can take ALL THE TIME YOU NEED hugging and kissing and checking homework and lunches and giving pep talks and spit shines and reminding them to look both ways and stay away from strangers, I'll never know.
Is it because you'd have to then walk across the very small parking lot?
Reverse is too much trouble?
Your little pumpkin would have a few steps further to go?
You're afraid little Johnny would cling on like a tiny leech and never let go and beg to go back home with you where you can never remove your eyes from them?
I know it isn't because you are afraid someone might see your jammies if you stay too long and park and have to walk yourself up to the school, because we've all seen them, and they are pretty sweet, even if it is 3pm.
(Hi teachers! 🙂 I'm sure you've loved my pjs too during school pickup (and occasionally drop off. Shhhh. Don't tell. Yoga pants are now considered day wear)! Heeeeey! Working from home has to have SOME benefits, right? I was dressed for conferences. Thank your lucky stars.)
I'm sure some of you are asking right now, "Well, if she thinks I'm SO inconvenient and can't even wait an extra 5 minutes while I get Suzie's hair fixed, why don't her kids just TAKE THE BUS?"
That's a good question, actually, and one I've tried to jump on board with myself, but I just can't. The bus. Just no. (2016 Update: I had enough of the pick up line. They all ride the bus home. 😯 )
First?
SMART PHONES.
You all have given your 3rd graders unrestricted data-enabled smart phones now, and do you even KNOW what those little hellions darlings are doing in the back of the bus with those smart phones? I don't. And I don't want to, and I don't want my kids to know either. There's more than enough time for that business, and elementary school ain't it. LOCK DOWN YOUR KIDS' BROWSERS, people. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
The drop off line should be a super easy, natural, common sense, amazing experience.
It should be coffee sipping and parents doing the car style happy dance because they get another glorious day of freedom knowing their children are learning and growing and enriching the lives of others around them. We should be high fiving from our car windows all the amazing people who take some much time and effort and pour them into our kids' minds and lives.
Nope.
It's so common sense, but the hatred of the experience is so universal that I had to speak up.
I officially declare this month and every month NATIONAL DON'T BE A JERK IN THE DROP OFF LINE month.
Spread the word. Share, share, share, share. Heck, I've heard tales of this being printed out and passed out at PTA meetings in some places. I'm not sure I'd go quite that far with it, but hey - you do you.
#PullForward
My new friend Jenny on the Spot posted a video about this last week that's going viral! Check it out!
I'm not always ranting about drop offs and pick ups. Usually I'm posting recipes! Check out some of my favorites:
Beef & Wild Rice Stuffed Zucchini
AMEN! The pick up line has given me so much frustration! I am the one parking and going to get my kids, because I can get out faster that way!
YES! And, for the love of Pete, You and your snowflake have NO BUSINESS in the School Bus pull in, or the NO PARKING areas, unless you feel like picking up a charming assortment of 15-85 kids, and carting them around to homes, daycare and street corners all around the area, while being grossly underappreciated.
Yes, I'm one of "those" parents that just couldn't get it right. I dreaded those occasional days when my wife couldn't make the drop off/pickup and I had to descend into that seventh circle of hell. I was impressed how they ran the whole thing with the precision of an infantry unit, but I inevitably ended up at the head of the line, ten car lengths away from the kindergardeners where my twins were. Sitting there waiting with all the moms revving their engines and giving me the stink eye. I can't even see what's going on on back there, knowing that if I open that door I'm dead meat.
It didn't take many of these episodes to realize that I'm a get a parking spot type of guy. But wait! This meant crossing the queue on foot with my small children in tow, which the principal informed me was much too unsafe.
There I stood, like a caged animal, knowing that if I unleashed the horrible things the Marines taught me all those years ago, I would certainly make the front page of the school newspaper. I looked down at my kids and gazed over at the teachers and parents, who seemed to sense that something bad was about to happen. I then turned back to the principal and said "Yes, I understand" and herded my cherubs to the safety of the car. I found that parking down the street and enjoying a short, serene stroll to the school was the win/win that returned peace to the pridelands. Don't be too quick to hate; some of us do the best we can.
Absolutely! You, sir - are not part of the problem. You are part of the solution. You saw the issue, and corrected it! For that - we salute you!
I know I wouldn't be able to get it right and that's why my "precious little snowflakes" get their butts on the bus every morning and afternoon. That and the fact I don't drive.
Some schools require that parents go through the pickup line instead of parking and walking children across the flow of traffic. At our school, you have to go into the school and sign out your child as though you are taking them out of school early if you don't go through the pickup line. If you do it more than three times in a six weeks, the child's conduct grade is docked.
A *seatbelt* can generally be buckled in ten seconds, yes. The law in Texas, however, requires all children under age 8 (ie: second or third grade) to be in a child safety seat, not just a seatbelt. It sounds as though you are recommending that parents ignore the laws put in place for the safety of children in order to get out of the way more quickly. Is moving the line more quickly really a higher priority than abiding by the law and keeping our children safe? Does flouting the law and putting our children in jeopardy - and encouraging others to do so - bring glory to God?
Texas requires 7 year year olds to be in a 5 point harness? Or would that be a booster seat - which can be buckled with a regular seatbelt and shouldn't require assistance in a normally developing child after 5ish?
"Phase 3
Booster Seats
After age 4 and 40+ pounds, children can ride in a booster seat with the adult lap and shoulder belt until the adult safety belt will fit them properly (usually when the child is 4'9" tall, 10 – 12 years old).
MUST have a lap/shoulder belt to use a booster seat." from https://www.dps.texas.gov/director_staff/public_information/carseat.htm
What I'm calling for here is common sense, and caring about someone other than yourself, and being aware of the people around you. Obviously use your own judgment, as I am using mine. 😉
Texas law requires a carseat or booster seat and people who choose to leave their child in a fully harnessed carseat don't need your criticism. Many children are not mature enough for a booster st "5ish" Keeping kids safe trumps you having to wait an extra 15 seconds. We'll be happy to use our own judgment.
Why does your child's immaturity dictate everyone else needs to wait? Keep them in a 5-point harness until they are in high school, for all I care, but park and don't make the rest of the world be inconvenienced. It is never 15 seconds. Unless you don't actually get out of your car and can just reach back and unbuckle them from the front?
PREACH
If your child isn't "mature" enough to be in a booster seat at 5 then I am sorry but your the problem.
Jon Moore / Nicole Johnson - ?? Yes.
Crystal Arcand - My son never had a problem buckling himself into the booster, so no, I don’t think she’s recommending breaking any laws. Just practice outside of the school pick up and drop off zone until they get better at it. There is no reason why a second or third grader shouldn’t be able to buckle themselves into a booster seat. Apart from special needs children, why am not trying to diss in any manner, if you have a second or third grader that can’t figure out how to buckle themselves into a booster seat, you’ve got bigger issues. Im guessing you’re part of the problem in the pick up line. Oh, and at 5ish, my done could load and unload himself safely into a 5-point harness seat. How do I know, I taught him to, watched, confirmed, listened for that “click.”
Again, Nicole, yes, well said. Preach!
This post absolutely and entirely made my day. I cannot even begin to tell you how comforting it is to know that this level of complete obliviousness, self-centeredness, helicoptery-ness is universal, not just my school. Please people, find a way to not be a spoke in the wheel of the entire system.
I stopped reading when you criticized parents for waiting until seatbelts were secure before re-entering traffic. Your ideals for flow and speed of school drop off are not worth the safety of my delicate snowflakes and this is why I couldn't care less how my dawdling is affecting you and your militant icicles.
There's about a block before we're actually back "in the flow of traffic" at our school. If your kids can't buckle their seat belts in 30 seconds it sounds like you need to do some practicing with them. Every school is different. If yours is situated 10 feet from a highway, by all means make sure that your kids are buckled before your car inches forward. 🙂
Carrie, I seriously doubt she’s talking about being on some busy street or highway, she’s talking about pulling away from the curb in an enclosed school parking lot area. 90% of the time, if not more, you need to drive a short distance before reentering anything that resembles the flow of traffic where your little darling needs to be secured. If your school pick up line is literally on a busy street, yes, obviously be sure your kid is fully secured before pulling away. She would never advocate for something less. Let’s use our common sense here.
my van requires that it be in park to open the back doors. That said, the six kids riding in our carpool could unload faster than most cars with one kid. Little kids were partnered with an older helper . As soon as we entered the parking lot crawl the kids unbuckled and gathered their things. As we reached the unloading area, I told them to be ready, then both slider doors opened, and kids climbed out with all of their stuff. I learned that the slider doors didn't have to be closed to put the van back into drive. I'm sure we resembled a clown car. Oh, and by carpooling there were four cars that were not driving through the drop off line everyday which is the best way of all to speedup the line.
Now THAT is efficiency!! I'm impressed!
Well done Janet!!! I say we clone you, or hire you to travel from school to school giving required lectures!
Nicole, I absolutely love this post! I agree that kids should be able to get into a car and be buckled within a few seconds, as my kids have been able to do since booster seats. I actually have gotten just as much enjoyment from the righteous outrage of the commenters being upset, since they are aware they are the problem, but obviously more important than the rest of the parents in pick up line. Keep up the great work!
You almost lost me when you spelled principal principle. I have things to add: Hey Parents that get in line at 12:45 for 2:15 pick up so you can be " first". Come in and COPY something!! I can't remember the last time I had that much time to kill! Second: U-Turn at Booth and get on the southbound side to enter Cork. Those of us who did it the right way and didn't block traffic really don't want to let your self-important selves turn left in front of us!
Ha!!! And I KNOW that one. 😉 Looks like I can now be the subject of some rants myself. 😉 (Now I have to go fix this. Not that it'll help much since the misspelled version is now all over the place. @_@ Lesson: Never be your own proofreader. 😀
Oh man. It isn't in the graphic. YAY me! Glaring misspelling - GONE. Thanks, Jess!
"Hear by" is incorrect as well. It's "hereby" ?
No one ever accused me of having proper grammar all the time, that's for sure. Good catch! Want to be my official proofreader?
OMG Jess -- the parents that are in line 2 hours early. THEY EXIST IN NC TOO!!!! I have no idea who these adults are that have so much leisure time on there hands. What is that life like?
As the one parent who volunteers to help our awesome kids who do patrol (helping with kids crossing the streets, and helping load up the cars) well, I very much understand you. We do have some very good parents who wait both when they are dropping off and when they are picking up, but we have some other ones who I would love to sing the song that says "Have patience, have patience, don't be in such a hurry." Wait for us to open your door to let kids in and out in the safe area. Safety is our main concern. And if you're running late, well other people might be too, so please, please stop speeding up the street to get to school.
Wow, you and your coven of indignants need to hop the Xanax bus, or curl up with a nice sweet bottle of chill the heck out.
Let's get one thing clear; your obcenity-laced, icicle-dagger-throwing tantrum that you slather your nose-picker in each morning isn't nearly as hidden as you think it is. And guess who gets to reap that savory, sweet anger each day? My child, and my child's teacher. Invariably, because you think it healthy (or, at least convenient...) to keep your special little snot-rag up until 10pm each night, they are already irritable. Slathering them in impatience and having them sautéed in rage does wonders for their learning environment. Way to go, mom, way to go...
Might I suggest that since bad parenting comes so natural to you and your ilk, you might want to balance it by hiring someone to show empathy, sympathy and just plain love to what must be a daily living hell endured by your obviously abused progeny.
Imma file this under, "Someone who definitely does not follow drop-off etiquette, and has had heaping helpings of daggers thrown from impatient mothers in the drop off line on the daily." Poor Joe. We just want to get back to our bon-bons, man.
If a slight helping of impatience over clearly inconsiderate, self-centered "adults" is the worst my "poor abused progeny" have to endure, I'll call that a #win any day. 😀
Amen, preach sista!! Joe, wow. Hmmmm . . . Wild guess . . . You’re a HUGE part of the problem. Sounds like you’re the one dripping with disdain, I hate to see what you’ve produced. Scary.
Wow. You don't have any sort of anger issues whatsoever? Pretty absurd that you just insulted both the innocent children of the mother who wrote this post and those children whose parents agree. They're just little kids. Just because she has a certain level of frustration towards the parents who don't follow the rules doesn't mean her kids hear about it or that they are affected by it in a negative way. I know at my daughter's school we have issues with her drop off/pick up line but when she goes into school she is cheerful and happy. She has been at the same school since kindergarten and she is entering 5th grade next week. I do voice my concerns because it is unsafe the way some of the parents drive or walk in the area. But she's in no way bitter about it. We just laugh it off. Life can be funny if you relax a little and have a sense of humour.
Exactly. Just because you write a completely honest and TRUTHFUL, not to mention. HILARIOUS post about the frustrations over the people who ruin what could be an efficient system, does not mean they are ranting about it in front of their kids. My son has no idea how utterly I agree with this post even though I spent 3 years thinking these things while witnessing the inconsiderate, oblivious of others parents from behind my wheel and five years directing traffic in my son’s school, all with a smile on my face. You have no idea how badly I wanted to post your graphic on my FB page, tape to every school door and send home in every Friday folder, but that wouldn’t be very professional. Seriously, if people all got on board with being a part of the well-oiled machine of pick up and drop off, we’d all (them included) be happy! The line would be a breeze, even, dare I say, a pleasure! Thank you Nicole for your Top 10 reasons, they’re spot-on.
Actually, no, I'm not one of 'those parents' to whom you so condescendingly refer. But I'm not one of 'your kind', either. I find your rage and lack of civility over a school pickup line just as bad - or worse - as the real people you bemoan. Instead of teaching your children to be gracious and 'adult' even when those around you aren't, you instead are teaching them that is perfectly adult and normal to act like a pack of animals. It isn't funny or cute, or only slightly wrong, it's a a problem.
It's raising a generation of problems. It's not a #win, and the fact that you think it's a win is the exact reason why I suggested that, perhaps, since you and your ilk are incapable of acting any different than those you rage against, it might be better for you to hire someone to show your future 'model adults' those features that actually make one a decent person.
You don't read many humor pieces on the internets, I gather. This is a mostly true, but very much embellished-for-your-enjoyment accounting of a daily frustration that's resonated with a lot of like-minded (mostly) moms. If I was raging behind the wheel in the minutes before sending off my little snowflakes on their way, I'd have a lot more problems than Suzie's mom who needs to zip up her coat every day or can't quuuuuiiiite pull it forward to the white line.
Sometimes, you just gotta laugh, and not take everything quite so seriously. And this maybe isn't the blog for you, I think.
Dear Joe,
Get a sense of humor. The rest of us are sad for you. But to be clear, we still want you to move your ass in carpool. Have a sense of urgency. Icicle daggers in 3... 2...
Sincerely,
All the moms
Rage and lack of civility?!? Condescension?!? Hello Joe, you shall hereafter be known as “pot,” as in, the pot who calls the kettle black.
Nicole and Heather - HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!! ???
Can I print it and handle it as flyers at our school?
Please do! I'd appreciate it you left the link at the bottom though so people can find me as well. 😉
ALL OF THIS!! It frustrates me that this concept is so hard to understand for some people. By the time we are at the drop-off, my kids are unbuckled with all of their things ready. They hop out and are gone. Forgot to say that "I love you"? Just yell it out the window, Kids LOVE that.
Your bio says "I love Jesus..." But I have to question the truth in that. How do you know what's happening in the lives of these people in line? Is an Aunt dropping someone off because Dad is in chemo? Did a child's beloved pet die the night before? Did someone's husband tell her their marriage was over the previous weekend? Maybe an anxious child is finally brave enough to try the drop off line for the first time and needs a few extra seconds. I could go on but I think you get the idea. I know this was meant to be humorous but it feels hateful and righteous to me and I doubt Jesus would approve. Next time, consider being compassionate. Matthew 7:1-2 Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.
You can question that all you'd like. This is supposed to be mostly funny. I don't actually rage in the bus line every day. Mostly every other day. 😉
Generally, we do know. Because we see the same exact car doing the same exact thing every morning. It's the white jeep with the blue sticker on it for example, that stops as soon as they pull into the driveway because her daughter is in kindergarten and she leaves her car parked in the drop off zone to walk her little precious to class. (K classes are right by the drop off loop) or the dad who comes in his black BMW and leaves his car in front of the preppy K classes in the drop off loop. Or the father son duo that walk across the no walking zone that almost get run over because we can't see them when we drive out of the parking lot for the bright rising sun is directly in our eyes coming in from the East! Yes, we know them, it's always the same parents...
I'm pretty sure you can still love Jesus and also want people to observe common courtesy. Satire seems to be lost on you, anonymous lady.
I love Jesus, Sarah and Heather (and Nicole, of course) - EXACTLY!! We DO see the same people doing it day after day - THAT’S what’s so frustrating about it! We DO have grace for those who aren’t the “reoffenders” because we realize they might be new to this or have some other reason why they just aren’t following the system. I love Jesus as well and have no problem feeling frustrated with the parents who are too self-important to do the right thing, but I always treat them with respect and give them an honest smile as I kindly correct them on how the line works, or what might better service the needs of their family (an actual parking space). Part of the problem is also what I’ll call “bad modeling.” These reoffenders are bad models to their fellow drivers. Drivers who’d otherwise do the right thing, but they see said reoffenders making selfish decisions daily and getting away with it, so they think “gee, I’ll do the same thing! Why be stuck in line when I can do XYZ (selfishly) and get out of here faster?” So others follow their bad example and contribute to the problem. As more jump on board, the whole system falls apart and chaos ensues. The few who still want to do it right get visibly enraged, and quite frankly, I don’t blame them. I’d also say it’s bad modeling to their kids. Kids aren’t dumb, they know how the system is supposed to work. When they see mom or dad repeatedly flouting the system, inherently saying “we’re more important than the rest of you,” (some of them pulling their kids through traffic to their parked car instead of using a crosswalk!) it teaches the kids that very concept - I’m more important than you. You know, in class or on the playground you can ALMOST bet which kids come from which types of cars. Some don’t fit the mold, but most do. It’s a real shame.
Oh my, I could not like this post more. You. nailed. every. point. Literally, there is no excuse to take longer than a few seconds in the drop-off line. If there is an excuse - you're right, the school has provided an option - the parking stalls! I never knew I had road rage until I experienced the school drop off line last year (internal rage - for all the haters, I mostly try to keep it internal). The parent who HAS to wait till their child gets into the school also seems to be the one that doesn't understand the pull forward concept, why!? Thankfully, our school staff makes pick-up a breeze. BTW, I loved your responses to all of "those" parents. Spot on, with only a small amount of heat! I'll be sharing this on our community page. Thank-you!
Thanks, Sarah! <3 You are my kind of people. 😀
love it. AND this was true 20 years ago. I was the kind of mom that always took the time to prepare my kids for what came next. I became awesome at transition time. I learned super quick that ignoring that time in the car for preparing for what is next is a baaad idea. So...Every morning I would say as we were coming up to the school...so are you ready to jump out? Its not rocket science!
I love this post more than you know, but pleasssseeee can you post another one for school pick-up!! I find myself honking my horn and to the point of getting out of my car to yell at someone weekly. Here lies the problem - there are two lanes formed at my son's Jr. High, one for picking up, and one for exiting after your child gets in the car. The first lane is for waiting at the curb next to the school, the second lane is the outer lane, (next to the first lane) it's supposed to be used as an exit lane - where you blink and pull into after you have picked up your child. Almost daily, a parent uses the second lane to wait for their child to come out of the school, which traps everyone trying to get out of the first lane, they are literally blocked in - I hope this makes sense. I want to scream and I do honk a lot but they never move! People are so stupid and rude, you can't form a waiting lane in the lane that is designated as an exit lane, it traps everyone in. Please post a Rules for Pick-up! I would love to hand it to the person blocking the lane - that is after I've honked my horn a few times and screamed at them!
Oh man that sounds frustrating!! I'm not sure what it is about people. Do they just not KNOW the way this is supposed to work? Or do they really not CARE and just assume everyone else should have to wait for them? It is maddening!
I’m convinced (after years of witnessing every example you listed, and Molly’s) that they don’t care. How do I know? 99% of the time (no exaggeration, 99%) it’s parents who’ve been around for years. They know exactly what they’re doing and just don’t care. They are the only people who matter, clearly.
Classy
Just for those "new" parents. My children are far and from what you call "Snowflakes". I was a first time kindergarten mom last year and had no idea what I was doing. I do agree with the conversations with teachers, but guess what! I did not initiate the conversation and am ready to get the F out of there asap. I've been soaking wet, slipping on side rails, after working 10 hours on my feet with a 10 minute break all day and trying to get the F home. So if I cost you couple minutes a day, it's not selfishness, its called caring, and respect. I agree, everyone has the right to btch, but you know what? There are assholes out there, deal with it or go home. Sorry to take a whole 2 minutes of your life when I would do whatever it takes to keep a kid safe, mine or even yours!
I'm clearly not talking about an occasional one-off. There were times when one of my kids lost his backpack...in our SUV, or one of the aids stopped me before the front of the line (OMG don't DO THAT I AM THE PULL FORWARD LADY!!), or whatever else. Basically – shit happens. I get it. We all get it.
It isn't about YOUR 2 extra minutes though. I'd gladly give you 2 minutes. It sounds like you have a hard life. But man. If you are at the back of the line, there are at least 10 more of you and alllll of those 2 extra minutes? THEY ADD UP. Really fast.
This is really directed at people who just DGAF (excuse my implied f-bomb there) about others, their time, and are regularly inconveniencing and entire line of people behind them.
We've all got struggles. We can all be more considerate of those around us. This IS my way of venting and dealing with the assholes, I guess, so yay for me?
Mostly though, I hope you can find a way to laugh. This is supposed to be funny, first and foremost.
P.S. Thanks for stopping by! I hope you stay for the recipes. I have lots of quick dinners for busy moms, and I'm not nearly this snarky in real life. 😉
YES Nicole, yay for you!!! It was WAAAY more than funny. Thank you a million times for posting. Yes, this is about the “reoffenders,” the ones who regularly DGARA (rat’s you-you-know-what), and how an extra minute with 10 different cars add up. It’s totally acceptable to blow off some steam in this way - to write a totally hilarious post about an honestly frustrating situation. And I agree, when the teachers stop the cars and chat for more than 10 seconds, it kills me. At the next staff meeting I’m actually going to suggest to the teachers that they ask the car in question to pull out of the pick up line and find a stall to park in “so we don’t hold up the line.” Then they can talk all they want. All the teachers back each other up, if one needs to go do that, the others rally and get their collegue’s kids into the proper vehicles.
Sarah, chill. We get it, we’ve had a long day on our feet, standing in all sorts of weather with little to no breaks too, we want to get home as well, and if we see the teacher walk up to your car and initiate the talk, (common sense) we don’t hold it against you, the teacher needs to clue in that they’re holding up the line.
There is a bus? Problem solved.
Hi Nicole, I love the article you wrote. The drop off line is so frustrating and I am a rule oriented person so I am all about things running by the rules. That being said, as a mom of a 6 yr old who has has an anxiety disorder the wording of the photo (meme? Lol not sure what to call that) that accompanies the article shocked me. Calling children snowflakes or "little princesses" because they may struggle in the car line? Not cool. That's my child that may need some help with her seatbelt or an extra quick hug or may need some coaxing by the teacher to hop out of the car. Not because I'm a helicopter parent or because my daughter is a "snowflake" but because she has a fear of separating from me and going off with a stranger. More specifically she has an anxiety disorder called selective mutism and the idea of possibly having to talk to a teacher that isn't hers is paralyzing to her. Do we walk? Yes most of the time. But last year she she became really brave at one point and wanted to try the car line. When she is feeling brave we encourage her. For the first week or two she did need lots of help and encouragement by me and I would like to say to anybody who has a problem with that, please don't judge a family until you walk in their shoes. One more thing, the comment about surviving recess was also pretty cruel. Again if you don't have an sensitive or anxious child that makes perfect sense to expect a child to be prepared to hop out, go to school, talk to anyone. Etc etc. My daughter may be that child who cannot survive the first day of school or may crumble at recess when kids she doesn't know try to talk to her and she is paralyzed with fear in that simple interaction.
I know that you, or whoever wrote this, had no intention of being mean or hurtful. I just need to speak up to explain why this language is not appropriate. Hopefully now that you are familiar with another side of this you can sympathize with what I'm saying.
This article isn't supposed to be "appropriate". It is venting, exaggerated, and meant to be a bit cathartic. You are free to dismiss it entirely, as I'm not required to be liked by the masses, thankfully.
What you are describing isn't what I was describing. Everyone has things happen sometimes, even despite our best intentions. I've been there. I have a million kids, not all of them easy and compliant, so I know. It is when it becomes someone's expectation that everyone else should just wait for them to do what they need to do because they feel like it, when it becomes a problem.
It is possible to be supportive and compassionate with each other as WELL as expecting, as a society, that we also are considerate of those around us. Much bigger issue than just the drop-off line.
Good heavens Allison. She didn’t say anything wrong, if you’re taking offense to a simple term like snowflake, prince or princess, get over it. It’s meant as an exaggeration of an honestly frustrating situation. Nobody is including the occasional person who slows things down into this. This is (seriously, this is so obvious) directed at the people who do these things practically every day for the whole school year. Sounds like you’re doing it right, parking in a stall and doing what you need to do for your kid. If there’s a week when they want to try the line, great, our frustration is with the oblivious to the 100 cars behind them EVERY DAY people. Chill. Also, the staff facilitating pick up and drop off, as well as fellow parents, get to know kids and their families pretty well (we are not talking about FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL HERE), and we always have grace for kids we know struggle with stuff like this.
Yes Nicole - this goes beyond the drop off line. The same attitudes that cause people to REPEATEDLY (not a week or so, not first day of school, Allison) and selfishly do whatever is most convenient for them in that moment in the line are the same people who go about the rest of their day in the same manner. So. Exasperating. Consider others around you, people. It’s not all about you. When you’re in public there are acceptable ways of doing things that make this world work so much more smoothly. Think grocery store lines, traffic laws in general . . . What would it be like if we could just throw some elbows and push our way to the front of the grocery store line because we think we’re more important than everyone else waiting? What would it be like if everyone drove how THEY, PERSONALLY saw fit? Ignoring speed limits, trafffic lights, one-way roads, sidewalks, etc.?
Nicole, if I could add 2 things to your list:
1) Use. Your. Blinkers. (put simply, cause there are areas more complicated, in our school there are 3 lanes. The 2 closest to the building for loading/unloading, the 3rd is a thru lane for exiting. The aides who direct traffic cannot read your mind. They cannot stop the exit lane and assist in your pulling out of the loading lanes unless they know you’re ready! There are upwards of 16 cars loading at a time, they can’t keep track of which snowflakes have loaded and which cars are still waiting. USE YOUR BLINKERS, don’t stare angrily at them. Use blinkers, not telepathy).
2) Slow down. I could care less if it’s too inconvenient for you to go inside and get a tardy slip. If you are arriving to school around about the time the doors are being locked up, just except your fate, park and go in to get your tardy slip. No amount of being on time makes up for running someone over in the parking lot. So. Selfish.
Nicole,
I entering my 20th year as a special education teacher, and have dealt with the hell that is traffic duty.
If you chose to write this piece actually using "humor", it could have been pretty amusing. However, it's not funny. It's insulting and rude. When I'm standing in torrential rain and someone takes a little too long to drop off their child, it bothers me a lot less than the jackass in the SUV swearing at me, honking, threatening me, because they are running late. Why don't those of you who are so important that you lose it if you have to wait park and walk your child up to the school.
It's also really lovely the way you insult not only the parents, but the children too. I have a student with cerebral palsy. It will always take him longer to get out of the car....but I guess he should be excluded from the drop off line so that you aren't inconvenienced. I've also had children with terminal illnesses. If that mom wants to watch her child get into the school on the rare occasions that they are well enough to attend, why deprive her of that?
I know people like you, and I'm sure nothing I say will matter to you..... I hope you are able to keep your nasty comments to yourself when your children are around, I'm guessing, no.
You are the parent teachers do not like to encounter.
We will have to agree to disagree. Many of the teachers at the school we go to are big fans of this particular post.
And I promise, I'm not the one honking and swearing. 😉
As with all things, sometimes humor can be slightly offensive even when *gasp* children are involved, and overall - that's okay. I'm pretty comfortable with the line I've personally drawn, and how I actually conduct myself in the day-to-day, and I'm sure you are as well.
You don't have to like my brand of humor, or venting, or any of this. That's the magic of having your very own website. You get to write whatever you want. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I wish you all the best, and all the patience you need to get through another tough year of teaching!
Ryan, I’m also the one on traffic duty, standing out in the pouring rain dealing with this every single day. And I 100% agree with Nicole, so shut it. This was completely accurate AND hilarious. It was completely filled with humor. You, clearly, are not.
Oh, and Ryan, I hate to say it, but yes, if your child has a disability that requires more than 30 seconds to get out of the car, the parking stalls are for you. That’s how the system is designed to work. You even have special parking spaces closer to doors than anyone else, so use them. I honestly don’t mean to offend by saying that, several of my close friends have children with disabilities, and they would agree. Needing extra time to get in or out of the vehicle goes against the entire CONCEPT of said line. All Nicole is saying - which there’s nothing wrong with - is that if you need more time or want to watch your kids walk in, fine, there’s nothing wrong with that, just go use a parking stall. Simple. The pick up and drop off lanes are for people to, essentially, keep moving. (Yes, you come to a complete stop to let kids in and out, I’m talking about the general concept, like a round-about, keep it quick).
You know, on freeways if people followed a similar sort of thinking, there would be a lot less road rage. Just imagine, slow traffic ACTUALLY keeping right. Here’s a rule of thumb, if you want to drive the exact same speed as the person to your right, move over into their lane. The left-hand lanes are for people who want to go a tad faster, not speeding in an unsafe manner, but maybe perhaps 5 miles over the speed limit, which is not a huge deal.
But I digress, same thing with the pick up and drop off lanes, their PURPOSE is to QUICKLY pick up or drop off. If you like or require more time, go park. It’s sooooo simple, and that’s all she saying. She’s not trying to insult anyone, just stating the OBVIOUS, which apparently isn’t so obvious unfortunately. Not to mention, anyone with even a mile concept of humor could see she’s saying it in a funny way.
I love this post. This has been my pet peeve since my oldest was in kindergarten. It's such a simple system and it works of parents we're considerate of others. Unfortunately this happened in both elementary and middle schools. Seems better at the high school but the school year Just started. ?
Happy to have found your site, now going to check out the recipes ????
In short (yes, I know it’s pretty obvious by now I don’t know how to say anything concisely):
* this is directed at the people that DELIBERATELY and REPEATEDLY do whatever the heck they want to because they’re more important than the rest of us and screw up the entire system (believe me, we know who does it day after day, these are the frustrating ones)
* this is NOT directed at the people that only “mess up” occasionally (we know you aren’t one of the deliberate jerks, we have patience and grace for you)
* simply put, the concept and purpose of the drop off and pick up lanes is to drop off and pick up in a quick and efficient manner. If you want or require additional time, time that slows down the whole system, please use a parking stall. Simple.
* this was a truthful and HILARIOUS post cathartically dealing with a frustrating topic, very well done, Nicole.
* I can tell by this post and by the mature, respectful way she dealt with people who should use said parking stalls, Nicole is EXACTLY the sort of mom I’d want in my classroom, or at my school in general. A funny, loving, REAL, hard working woman who cares about more than just herself. I’d count myself truly blessed if she were my friend.
I have been experiencing similar thoughts and frustrations at my first grader's school drop off. I didn't realize how unkind they were until someone shared your meme with me.
I try to practice not being judgmental, giving others the benefit of the doubt, understanding they are also trying to come from a place of goodness, and accepting our individual human frailties and failings with grace, always.
So, congratulations on making me see how terrible I've been. No parent or child should feel like they "don't belong" in any school zone. No one should call other people's children "snowflakes" with sarcasm and the intent to injure. I can't believe you simultaneously quote Corinthians and publish such a mean spirited, ill intentioned and hurtful meme.
Please rethink your position on leaving this post up. I've found that when you write something broad intending to hurt one person or group of people, you end up accidentally hurting many others, including some you may really care about. But for this message, no one should feel they are being rebuked except for the author. Really, rethink this piece and meme.
I'm of the opinion that there's room for some levity and sarcasm in even the most serious of situations. 😉 If you felt convicted by your emotions around this, I'm afraid I can't really help you there. I am pretty comfortable here on my slightly snarky, jestful bench, but I appreciate your concern. "Intent to injure" is pretty dramatic, and not at all the point of this post.
"Can't you take a joke?" is the refuge of the bully.
I will assume you meant "conflicted" and not "convicted." I’m not being the autocorrect police, but it seems a good means of pointing out that even the best-intentioned attempts at levity can go sideways somewhere along the line.
You declared my language dramatic, yet I'm trying to conjure a situation where calling other parents' children snowflakes is not dramatic and intended to injure that parents' feelings. And that sentiment is mean and small. I don’t think you are a mean or a small person. You’ve put all this effort and love into making a years long blog full of information you want to share with complete strangers.
It appears that several people have reached out to you in non-aggressive ways to attempt to kindly explain how your screed was understood by them. In return, you (and your other posters), ridiculed them, accused them of being the people who make the errors that anger you and dismissed their comments with “can’t you take a joke?” It feels very middle school. It seems very defensive.
I’m also a writer and I understand that there are always cranks and people who intentionally misinterpret your words in order to feel the self-righteous adrenaline of having taken offense. That doesn’t appear to be the case here. It appears that you’ve been fighting the “is this funny or mean?” battle for a couple of years.
Maybe it’s time to take a step back and re-evaluate this particular post? Do you want these sentiments (which have not even the most tenuous relationship to recipes) do be part of your brand? Someone searches for recipes from a Christian family woman and they stumble across this post, which is neither food related nor particularly Christian in sentiment.
That meme is the thing that will always stick with me about your blog. With Plain Chicken it’s those delicious cornflake peanut butter cookies. With Kitchn it’s the overnight yeasted waffles. With Chocolate and Zucchini it’s the Liege waffles recipe (yeah, waffles are a thing).
I wish you continued success with your blog.